The Expatriate Spouse Factor Seminar

I was honored to be a speaker at this year’s Expatriate Relocation Conference in London this week. Focus, who provides excellent support to trailing spouses, asked if I would act as the host and interview six expatriates on their struggles and successes transitioning to life abroad. Based upon all theindustry experience from Focus’, my life coaching with expatriates and our brilliant expat volunteers we came up with 5 Top Xpat Factors for a successful transition to life abroad.

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What great stories emerged - from not knowing how to work the shower to finding success and happiness in a new country. With our wonderful panel and great guidance from Alessandra and Barbara from Focus, we had some amazing insights and stories that I would like to share with you in hopes they provide value to your life.

Communication – keeping the lines of communication open between you, your partner and family, your employer, and your service providers. Maria and Eva were able to share with the audience their struggles with getting visas, knowing how to work a shower, finding the right city to live in to suit their personal preferences and how little things like understanding the date format in another country can get your daughter enrolled in the wrong school. These ladies shared amazing value through their trials. Important Tip: clear and complete communication is essential for a successful transition to a new country. If you are not sure about a process or certain situations, always ask for clarification. Do not assume things will happen as they would in your home country.
Doing your research – for a better understanding of the market, schools, logistics, finances and transportation. Eva explained that the way you pay for things in her home country of Estonia is completely different that how you would go about it in London. She told us that by researching the way you conduct your day to day purchases and investigating how to secure a bank account would have saved her loads of time and energy. Important Tip: it is clear that by doing your research you can perhaps avoid some of the problems our expatriates experienced. Always ask questions and utilize any service providers who are there to help you.
Establishing your Identity – understanding your role and finding where you belong in your new host country. Eytan found that his career would be different here in the UK, as he previously worked with Holland’s military service. He discussed the difficulty in securing new employment when you move to a new country as the skills may not be transferable. His work identity had changed. Cheryl shared her difficulties in making new friendships and establishing her business when you have left all your friends, business connections and family behind. She stated the importance of getting connected to new friends, and added the helpful tip of joining a volunteer organization for both friendships and that the experience can be added to your CV as local work experience. Important Tip: Your move may have involved a change in career, family role or relationship. It is important that you define who you are in your new environment. Once your role is clear in your mind you will be able to create your foundation and sense of belonging.
Building a Support Network- getting connected and involved in your new country. Monica shared how she keeps in touch with her friends and family back home via Skype and email. To find new friends she has found a great expat community from her home country, which provide support and friendship. Eytan told us how networking is very important to make new business connections for potential employment. Susan shared with us her success in getting involved with her children’s school and that she’s made loads of friends with the parents and new friendships for her children. Important Tip: Based on the wonderful input from our panellists we can see that it is very important to be proactive and get involved. It is up to you to get out there and integrate with the community, both with the locals and any expatriates from your home country.
Making the most of your relocation – don’t waste time complaining, be patient with yourself and others and enjoy the journey. Monica shared that the expatriate life offers excellent ways to broaden your cultural experience. She told us of all the wonderful things that a new country has to offer – the people, the sight and and culture. Susan loves the idea that her children are gaining so much from a cultural standpoint living in the UK. She is thriving as she keeps positive about her relocation and enjoys all that the UK has to offer. Important Tip: These wonderful stories reinforce the importance of: