Hello my adventurous Expatriate friends! Here’s the final post of the four part series on tips to assist you if you are struggling with the effects of culture shock.
If you missed the first three posts, you can read them here:
Culture Shock Part 1 – Death and Rebirth
Culture Shock Part 2 – Dreaming and Scheming
Culture Shock Part 3 – Daring and Emerging
You know you’ve arrived in Square 4 – The Promised Land when your dreams have not only come true but demonstrated some long-term staying power. Your small business is turning enough profit to survive; the person you love has agreed to marry you; you’ve landed that dream job; you have created a life you love in a new country. It’s finally time to slow down. Whew!
Slowing Down
As we’ve seen, Square 3 requires a huge amount of action. This level of activity goes on for so long that it feels like a normal way of life. When you hit Square 4 and there are no more barriers in your way, you may not know how to handle the situation. Don’t worry. This is the good part. Here are some instructions that can help you enjoy it.
- Put on the brakes – Slow down. Pay attention to outside feedback and keep an eye on your internal compass. There is a time to deliver the goods and there’s a time to let things be.
- Focus on what’s working and drop everything else – If something drains you while contributing very little to your success, don’t do it.
- Slide down the learning curve – It’s time to focus on becoming really, really good at the things that will sustain your success. Now is the time to improve your expert status and research and refine those items that have made you successful.
- Chunk your turtle steps- The steps you took previously were new and felt foreign to you. These steps have now been learned and you can complete them with much less effort. Many of your steps will now blend together. Combine your turtle steps into one larger step; a chunk.
Gratitude and Giveaways
You may feel exhausted and fearful after your long trip through the change cycle and feel like you’re clinging desperately to the good things that are finally coming into your life: money, relationships, attention confidence and power. A hoarding frame of mind actually keeps you from experiencing joy, reduces your ability to make money, and screws up both personal and professional relationships.
Below are several ways to experience gratitude, joy and the fantastic feeling of giving back to others. You should practice these as often as possible:
Doing affirmations- Whenever you start feeling greedy and anxious you should post these affirmations up around your environment and repeat them until you believe them:
- There is more than enough, wealth, love, and happiness to go around.
- I am succeeding because of my choices, not blind luck.
- If something goes wrong, I’ll figure out how to make it right.
- I created this situation once, and I can create it again and again.
- If I lost everything, lots of people would be willing to help me.
- I can deal with my life at this moment; and that’s all I’ll ever have to do.
- Nothing can take my destiny away from me.
- There’s much, much more good stuff where this came from.
- I will always have plenty.
- I have free access to infinite richness.
Divine Decadence- Simply get yourself an oversupply of something your essential self really likes. Don’t just get as much as you want, get twice as much. This is where you get to be self-indulgent and scandalous. Once you start living like this you will find that your thoughts of running out of the good things will lessen.
Hold a Giveaway – A real giveaway is willing and joyful. You give because it makes you happy. You don’t have the slightest need to be repaid or to sit around admiring you own generosity. You can’t feel this way about giving unless you’re sure that there’s plenty of good stuff for you.
- Identify something you have in great abundance and don’t mind sharing.
- Find someone who needs what you have to share.
- Figure out how much you can give away joyfully-check in with your essential self to see what level of amount feels good to give.
- Give as much as you can joyfully afford. If possible, do it anonymously.
- Dwell on the pleasure of seeing or imagining the good feelings you’ve created with your gift.
Be amazed at how happy this exercise can make you. I believe that giving is one of the best ways to increase your own income. You can’t open the valve to receive without being able to give, and vice versa. Whatever you need, a giveaway is always a way to start the flow of good things.
Bring yourself to the present moment – It’s time to stop wanting more and enjoy what you are experiencing in this present moment. There are all kinds of methods to bring your attention to the here and now. One method is to sit still and focus on your breathing, a word, or some small object.
Add as many worthwhile experiences that you can- What experiences would you like to have before you’re finished with this particular go around on planet earth? Are there any interesting things you’ve never done that you would like to do?
And Finally
- Take down the “one-way” signs – It’s very common when people reach Square Four that they think they’ve discovered the “One-Way” to success and happiness, and that everyone would benefit by living in exactly the same manner. They can be very principled, kind-hearted and well-meaning. Ignore them. You cannot find your own true path by locking onto someone else’s path.
- Expect Change – It’s almost universal for people in Square 4 to resist change. Things are so nice and it’s taken you ages and a ton of hard work to get here. No wonder you want it to stay the same. Too bad. We are constantly in transition and you will eventually find certain parts of your life shoved kicking and screaming back into Square 1.
It is my hope that this Culture Shock series releived pain and clarified some dreams and desires for you. I’d love to hear what worked and what didn’t for you. i love the feedback, both the positive to pass on and the negative to learn from. Let us know your thoughts below.
With gratitude,
Kelli
