Are you Suffering From Culture Shock – Part 3 of 4

Hello fellow Expatriates -

Welcome to the third part of a four part series on how to combat culture shock.  if you haven’t read the first two parts, I highly recommend you do as they work best in order.  You can find them here:  Culture Shock – Part 1 and Culture Shock – Part 2.  Not to worry, there will only be one more after this.

In the first post we discussed how to get over the initial shock that can happen to all of us expatriates when we relocate to a new country.  You must grieve your old life and not make any big decisions until things around you calm down and you feel a bit more adventurous.

In the second post we discussed Dreaming and Scheming – where I gave you exercises to help you look at your inner wants and desires and how to gradually move them into your real world.  Fun stuff!

Now that your have learned how to let go of your limiting beliefs and breathed life back into your dreams and come up with some new ones, it’s time to begin Daring and Emerging.  This is the practical hands on phase of your journey.  To make your dreams a reality, you must take action!

The road ahead of you may look long and hard.  Here you are standing at the base of a huge mountain looking up to the top peak where your dreams are perched.  The road ahead of you is unknown and this is where fear raises it’s ugly head.  This makes it very hard to accelerate from zero.  Here are some tools to assist you with Daring and Emerging:

1. Take Turtle steps - take one step from your dream or “to-do” list and break that task into smaller components until you have a step that is an easily managed little step.  You will feel your body change when you’ve reached a step that feels easy to accomplish.  Now go do that step, take a break and congratulate yourself and then move on to another one tomorrow.  This may not look impressive, but it will get you everywhere.
2. Bribe yourself – there will be items on your list that are impossible to break down or you really don’t want to do them.  This is where bribery can works great.  Come up with a list of items that scream “yes” to your essential self.  Write this list down and post it somewhere.  For each item that is difficult give yourself a gift off your desire list to congratulate yourself when you’ve completed that step you despised or feared.
3. Do a terrible Job – I believe in my heart that if a thing is worth doing, it’s worth doing badly.  I know, we all want to do everything well.  As an expatriate, you will run into a lot of unfamiliar situations and will learn new skills.  The first few times you use public transportation, shop for food or try to join in the local banter you’re probably going to do it badly.  Terrific! That shows that you are still expanding the horizons of your abilities and learning new skills.  You must be willing to do something badly in order to learn how to complete the skill.  Now, go do something badly and be willing to laugh at yourself.

Now that you are taking action and getting things done, lets look at how to put some energy into our actions.   Have you ever noticed the behavior of dogs when they are doing what they love?  I highly recommend you adapt and adopt these behaviors:

Work like a dog

Late Square 3 – daring and emerging is where you should work like a dog in a very literal sense.  Certain dogs love doing the work they were born to do, whether it’s hunting, assisting the police or helping disabled persons.  They wake up loving it, leaping out of their bed, excited to get on with their tasks.  You are born to love some types of work and to hate others.  When you’re on the right path you will find yourself working like a dog without even noticing that hours have gone by.

1. Find a dog and watch how it works.  Model this.

Play like a dog

You may think in Square 3 that it’s all about working hard and you shouldn’t spend much time playing.  Actually the opposite is true.  The more intensely you have to work, the more you need to take play breaks.  Playing improves your creativity and problem-solving skills, minimizes burn-out and maintains high-level performance.

1. Play 2 hours a day—not vegetating on the couch or fulfilling social obligations but having genuine, all-out fun.  Ask your essential self what it wants to do during playtime.

Hang out with your favorite people

A person who gets through Square 3 successfully is always someone who plays well with others.  You should seek out people you enjoy and spend as much time as possible simply being friends.  As you may have recently relocated to a new area and friends are only obtainable by telephone or email, schedule a telephone call with that person for a nice chat to catch up.

This is the time to get out and find people to connect with in your new country.  Find people who share your same passions and ideals.

1. Make a list of items on your wish list that could have local group activities or classes you could take.
2. Look on the internet and in your local community center for gatherings or volunteer opportunities you can investigate and attend.  One of my favorite websites is www.meetup.com .  There’s probably a meeting on here for anything you can think of.
3. Plan to attend at least one gathering this week, whether it is a nature walk, art class, informational meeting, sporting event or a lecture on a subject that interests you.
4. Be an observer –  Who are you drawn too?  Now engage in conversation with people you are drawn to.  You can always use the subject matter of the gathering as an easy conversation starter.
5. Continue to find other gatherings to attend in different subject matters.  An important note:  always try and meet people who are hosts to the country you are residing in.  While it is good to find groups from your original home country, it is important that you expand out and create a diverse friend base.  These people can prove to be valuable information sources.

I hope I have given you loads of tips and tricks to get you rolling.  I’d love to hear how you did with these exercises, what success or problems arose and what tips you’d like to share with us for meeting new people and moving towards your dreams.  Let us know below.

With gratitude,

Kelli